NOTE: Under advice from legal counsel, we have been instructed to state that the following essay is for entertainment purposes only. If a bad guy sticks a gun in your face, it is generally accepted by most "experts" that the proper thing to do is follow the bad man’s instructions and try to avoid pissing him off. However, we at RWT tend to disagree, but opinions vary greatly and what we might think is the proper course of action for one of us is probably inappropriate for the average citizen. Remember, anytime you choose to argue with a criminal gunman your risk of getting shot increases. Arguing with a gunman is usually considered "stupid," but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. . .

Yes, sometimes even those people who, through attire and demeanor, are obviously drawn to the warrior path are sometimes targeted by criminals. Perhaps they are not impressed by your projected image due to the fact that they believe themselves to be much tougher than you, they outnumber you, or they are armed and think that you are probably unarmed (as are most good citizens). If off-duty cops, former Army Rangers, and vicious outlaw bikers have been accosted by armed robbers, do you really think that no-one would ever dare cross you? Be sensible — even though your probability of being victimized might be significantly lower than that of the average citizen, don’t be deluded into thinking that a leather jacket and a "bad attitude" will make you untouchable. Some people truly do not give a shit how "bad" you think you are — especially if they’ve got a headful of coke and a 9 millie in their waistband.

How should you respond to a criminal who is demanding your valuables? First, you need to consider the valuables in question. Are they really worth being maimed, crippled, or killed over? Do you really give a shit if your employer’s cash drawer is taken? What about the forty dollars in your wallet? What about your fully insured vehicle? If you choose to fight over something which is insignificant or easily replaced, you’re fighting because of your ego, and that’s just stupid. However, what if the scumbag accosts you after you’ve just closed out your savings account? Or what if he insists upon taking your entire wallet after you’ve offered him the cash and credit cards? What if he demands a ring which holds great sentimental value? Could you really face yourself in the mirror again after allowing yourself to be victimized and humiliated without a fight? You’ll need to meditate upon such a possibility, so you won’t hesitate to act if action becomes necessary. Be sure to consider the fact that if you choose to "make a stand" in front of other victims, they might be harmed as a direct result.

Robberies fall into several distinct categories, the most important being "strong arm" versus "armed." A "strong arm" robbery usually takes the form of a "mugging" on the street, in a parking garage, or even possibly in one’s own home, school, or workplace. Often, two or three (sometimes even more) attackers work as a team, usually relying on surprise and intimidation to force you to part with your valuables. Usually, the victim is struck at least once (statistically, you have a much greater chance of being physically assaulted by an unarmed aggressor). Often, you will be approached by two assailants in a "pincer" movement. Usually, they will attempt to take you off guard by smiling and asking a seemingly innocent question (like directions, the time, or a request for spare change) before suddenly punching you in the face and knocking you to the ground. Never let strangers get too close to you, and make sure no-one is maneuvering into your blind spot. A stranger has no business intruding into your personal space (within an arm’s length), shaking your hand (often to immobilize your dominant arm), patting you on the back, tapping you on the chest, or putting an arm around your shoulders. If you allow a predator to become "intimate" with you, it shows that you are an easy mark — a weakling, if you will. Fuck being "assertive"— circumstances such as these call for downright hostility! Drawing a weapon and feigning an attack is not an improper response if you are isolated and genuinely feel threatened. If you are in possession of a pepperspray cannister, now would be the proper time to start emptying it. However, until blows are actually struck or a weapon displayed, deadly force is not yet justified (unless, perhaps, you are either elderly or a paraplegic). The concept of "rudeness" does not apply when confronted by street people and unknown dirtbags. They should know better than to approach their betters in such an inappropriate manner (indeed, "politeness" will also be looked upon as a sign of weakness to be exploited).

An armed robbery is handled somewhat differently (although all street people are potentially armed). The range and effectiveness of the weapon is a significant factor. A boxcutter is less of a threat than a butcher knife, which is less of a threat than a .22 automatic, which is less of a threat than a sawed-off 20 gauge double barrel. You need to be able to assess the situation in order to accurately measure the risks involved. A tactical folder, a belt, or an improvised weapon could be used against someone threatening you with a boxcutter, whereas nothing less than a three foot pole (like a broomstick, pool cue, shovel, or length of rebar) should be used versus a butcher knife. If facing a firearm — even if you are strapped yourself — you should generally do exactly as you are told (within reason) . . . remember, you can always shoot him in the back as he makes his escape (contrary to what TV westerns might say, there is no great dishonor in this). Never attempt a "quick draw" if you’re staring down a gun barrel!

When facing a firearm, the most important thing to do is to remain calm. Yes, I know this is easier said than done, but if you’re truly on the warrior path you should have enough control over your emotions to be able to deal with this sort of thing. The second most important thing is to try to calm down the perpetrator. Most dirtbags know hardly anything about handling firearms safely and responsibly, and it is your responsibility to see to it that no-one is needlessly hurt. First, let him know that you’re going to give him what he wants ("It’s cool . . . you can have all the money . . . no-one needs to get hurt"). Next, let him know that the gun is a potential liability ("Man, put that thing away before someone sees it!" or "Okay, but could you please take your finger off that trigger? You don’t want that thing to go off by mistake"). The perpetrator’s adrenaline will most likely be skyrocketing, making the likelihood of an accidental discharge extemely high. If someone is screaming profanities and waving a pistol around like a demented baboon, you don’t need to take that crap. The fucker is being dangerously irresponsible and ought to be corrected, diplomatically, in the aforementioned manner. Try to calm him down without being antagonistic, but if he insists on rudely sticking a gun barrel in your face, don’t be afraid to tell him "No." Let the perpetrator know that you are perfectly willing to hand over your wallet, jewelry, cash drawer, merchandise, etc., just as long as he conducts himself in a professional manner. A robbery is a transaction of sorts, and certain protocols should be adhered to, the first and foremost being that once a firearm has been displayed and you have agreed to hand over the valuables, that fucker has no business continuing to keep you in fear that you will be needlessly slaughtered. Such behavior is unacceptable.

If you let some amateur dirtbag start making up new rules as he goes, he may very well decide to take full advantage of the situation. He may decide that he likes the feeling of power he gets from yelling at people and waving a gun around. If you let him carry on, he may start to get ideas. Some robbers, fearing that you’ll call the police on them right away, may decide to either tie you to a chair or lock you in a back room. If he’s really opposed to the thought of going to prison, he may even decide to execute you so you can’t testify against him. A few freakishly deranged criminals may even take the opportunity to humiliate you in one way or another. This may simply entail being insulted, spat at, or urinated upon; or it could involve being stripped and systematically tortured. What happens depends upon how much time and privacy the freak thinks he has. If you let him know what’s going on from the very start, it is unlikely that he’ll attempt to take such liberties. You could even negotiate with him, or start making shit up. For example, if you were being mugged on the street, and the mugger starts voicing his ideas for making a clean getaway, you could tell him, "I’m not calling the police — there’s a warrant out for my arrest." He might very well believe this, especially if you could supply more details if asked (it could be for a DWI or a "failure to appear"). If you are being held up at your workplace, you could offer to give him a 10 minute head start for $20, and even give the police a false description for $50 (as most cash drawers hold less than $500, he’d probably be reluctant to part with $100, but $50 might be seen as a wise investment).

Regardless of how skilled you think you are, you should never attempt to disarm a robber barehanded — unless you truly believe you are about to be executed. If the robber attempts to persuade you into allowing him to either tie you up or lead you into a back room (regardless of his promises that you "won’t be hurt"), assume that you are about to be executed (if you are female, there is a high probability that you will be violently assaulted prior to your execution). NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE ISOLATED OR REMOVED FROM THE SCENE OF THE CRIME!!! If this occurs, statistics show that you will probably be killed. The majority of robbers flee the scene after getting what they want . . . anyone who chooses to stick around is after something else as well. Don’t play their game! If they refuse to take the money and go, you may be forced to attack them in revenge for their intent to murder you, and you will probably be seriously injured (if not killed) in the process. Would you rather die than be led by the goblins into a back room where they can toy with you at their leisure? Or would you rather choose to meekly do as the goblins command you, in hopes that you will be treated mercifully? A warrior doesn’t take shit from people — even with a gun pointed at his head. You’ll probably just be killed anyway, so you might as well take these last few moments to act with valor and get a good DNA sample from your killer.

Gun disarming techniques are very tricky, and they vary depending on the type of firearm used. If you are not familiar with the various types of firearm (particularly handguns), they will be inefficient at best. Single-action firearms (including: "cowboy style" six-shooters, most derringers, many sawed-off shotguns, and the Colt 1911A1 .45 automatic) require the hammer to be cocked back prior to discharge. If a finger (or the webbing betwixt the thumb and forefinger) were to be placed atop the firing pin, the falling hammer would fail to fire the weapon and it could be twisted sharply away (possibly snapping off the perp’s trigger finger in the process). A double-action revolver (that has not been previously cocked) can be temporarily jammed by grabbing and squeezing the cylinder, preventing it from rotating. A double-action automatic is more difficult to secure, but it might be possible to wedge one’s finger under the hammer as it raises back. True "hammerless" automatics (such as many cheap .25 autos and some imported .380s and 9 millies) cannot be immediately jammed due to their internal striker mechanism, but if the slide is securely grasped the weapon will probably jam after the first shot (and most dirtbags are incapable of clearing a jam under stress). Releasing the magazine or popping the cylinder can also render a gun ineffective, although this is extremely difficult to do, and many automatics would still be capable of firing a chambered round. If you are attempting to wrest a gun away from someone, expect it to go off at least once — don’t allow the noise to stop you, even if you’re wounded — just try to keep the muzzle pointed away from you as best you can, and use your hands and teeth to attack his face and throat. The key to your survival is taking him out hard and fast. This means using the element of surprise, as well as channeling your adrenaline into demonic viciousness. Chewing another human being’s throat out whilst sinking your thumb deep into his eye socket is not something "civilized" man is psychologically prepared to do, so that part of your psyche which is civilized needs to step back and let something else take charge. If you’re not able to do this, you probably ought not to be trying to take guns away from people.