I fucking love the Cold Steel "Safekeeper III." Formerly marketed as the "Urban Skinner," this nasty little punch-knife has a lot of excellent qualities to recommend it. A short list follows:

1.) IT IS BAD AS FUCK: Okay, perhaps that sentiment could’ve been expressed more eloquently, but any other choice of words would fail to properly convey my profound respect for the capabilities of this well-designed weapon. (Besides which, that cut-out, suction-busting, blood-groove really makes this tiny knife look cool!)

2.) IT IS NEARLY INDESTRUCTABLE: The short, fat, single-edged blade terminates in what could almost be called a "chisel-like" point. You could easily drive this fucker through a steel 55-gallon drum multiple times without breaking it. It is crafted from a single piece of thick (3/16") 420 high carbon stainless steel with a sub-zero quench. The shock-absorbing textured Kraton grip injection molded to the T-handle will protect your mitt from the hardest of impacts.

3.) IT IS PRACTICALLY INVISIBLE: The 2 1/2" blade with the greyish, light-absorbing, bead-blasted finish is not apparent to others as it juts between the knuckles of your clenched fist. In numerous case studies, persons who had been attacked — or witnessed an attack — by someone wielding this type of punch knife later testified that they never saw a knife. While this might prove advantageous to violent felony offenders, it is equally advantageous to the law-abiding armed citizen who needs to defend himself against an unprovoked assailant — perhaps by means of a deadly "sucker punch."

4.) IT CAN BE ACCESSED INSTANTLY: The blade fits snugly into its "Secure-Ex" form-fitting synthetic sheath, which can either be clipped to one’s belt or suspended from a lanyard either around one’s neck or under one’s arm. You could even safety-pin the sheath inside your jacket. A quick tug releases it instantly, allowing the weapon to be deployed in a fraction of a second.

5.) YOU WILL NOT DROP IT: The soft, textured grip fits snugly into your hand, and as you make a fist the weapon is locked securely into place. Unlike conventional knives, you will not drop it if it is held incorrectly, if the blade is knocked aside or twisted, if you are rapped on the knuckles, or if your hand becomes immersed in a slippery liquid substance. Basically, about the only way to get someone to drop one of these things is to "defang the snake" with a close range shotgun blast to the wrist.

6.) IT IS ACTUALLY LEGAL: Yes, in most jurisdictions this is not considered to be a prohibited weapon due to the fact that the blade is under 3" in length and only has a single edge. Unless the statutes specifically prohibit "T-handled knives," "punch knives," or vaguely defined "dangerous knives," you can probably legally carry it upon your person. Be advised that these knives are unlawful in the countries of Great Britain, New Zealand, and Australia.

7.) IT IS CAPABLE OF INFLICTING SERIOUS DAMAGE: Every time you throw a jab, cross, or uppercut at someone, it will result in a stab wound. The blood-hole and T-grip allow for easy extraction. As stated previously, this thing will penetrate hard objects (like the cranium, sternum, and scapula) which might break or deflect lesser blades. It will slip through the tough leather of a cowhide motorcycle jacket like it wasn’t even there. Furthermore, the T-grip on this weapon allows for unrestricted agitation of the inserted blade — just twist it back and forth a few times before popping it out. Unlike other small blades, this could very easily be used to inflict lethal injuries. It is truly a vicious weapon.

8.) NO TRAINING WHATSOEVER IS REQUIRED TO USE THIS WEAPON EFFECTIVELY: That’s right, just hold it in your hand and punch away — the design of the blade will do the work for you. "A 98 pound weakling with an Urban Skinner in either hand could defeat a Zulu chief — just think what a strong, well-coordinated person like you could do!" (Taken verbatim from a politically incorrect advertisement for this weapon in a copy of Soldier of Fortune from the early 1980s.)