Teaching your child self-defense is your responsibility as a parent, however, in today’s non-violent "politically correct" society, such as task is not without its risks. For example, if your child becomes involved in an altercation with three bullies on the schoolyard, and inadvertently causes serious damage to one of them, you would be in a lot of trouble (lawsuits, criminal charges, and possibly even loss of custody) if your child were to proudly tell his principal, "My Dad showed me that move!"

Children are widely considered to be innocent and harmless by society at large, and if you were to instruct your child in various maiming and killing techniques (as indeed, many Asian-American fathers do), you would be thought of as some sort of monster. Furthermore, most children (even teenagers) lack the judgement, discipline, and emotional maturity to be entrusted with such knowledge ("a little bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing"). If you were to teach your child dangerous martial arts moves for his protection, you would probably be doing him a grave disservice.

ABDUCTION:

First, I’m assuming that you’ve already told him about "Stranger Danger," and how various deviants will use all sorts of devious lures and ruses ("Your Mom sent me to pick you up," "Could you help me look for my puppy?," or "Could you come over here for a minute and give me some directions?"). Children (especially little ones) need to know that no unknown adult has any business approaching them on the street to talk with them, and that it is not disrespectful to one’s elders to run away without answering them.

If the adult tries to approach within grabbing range, they should immediately back up; and if they are actually touched or grabbed, they should scream "I’M BEING KIDNAPPED!" (or words to that effect . . . many instructors advice children to yell, "This person is not my parent!" which is a good idea, but it seems to lack shock value), and kick, claw, and bite until they’re able to break free and run away. They should be told, in no uncertain terms, that if a stranger succeeds in driving away with them, they will be slowly tortured to death far away from anyone who could help them.

Will this give your child nightmares? Most definitely, but you can rest assured that no freak will be able to get close enough to snatch your child without getting mauled in the process (and the typical predator would probably choose to abort the abduction, and seek easier prey elsewhere). Would you rather do as most parents have done, and simply sit your child down for a few moments to say, "Don’t take candy from strangers, and never get in a car with someone you don’t know," then send them off to play while deluding yourself into thinking that "nothing will ever happen to my kid, because I just told him what to do." If you fail to shock the hell out of them, your warning about "strangers" will be forgotten within a week.

Okay, now that strangers (as well as strange neighbors) have been addressed, it is time to discuss what your child should do (and what he shouldn’t) in the far more likely event that he is targeted by the school bullies.

A lot of adults are under the delusion that children are incapable of injuring one another beyond the occasional "black eye" and bloody nose . . . this is a common misconception. Children have been known to maim, murder, and even rape other kids. Usually, this is the result of ignorance, something they saw of television, or something that has been done to them. Consider the following facts:

1.) Although they may never actually use or display it, approximately 1 out of 5 "bad kids" carries a knife, blade, or "shank" of some sort. Preferred "weapons" seem to be folding lockblades and cheap utility razors. Even though they may not actually intend to use it against another person, it makes them feel good (confident, powerful, or "cool") to have it handy "in case they ever need it."

2.) Children often think that it’s "funny" to push another child down the stairs, or repeatedly bounce their head off the floor, without realizing that they could actually kill someone by doing so.

3.) Most children have absolutely no concept of what a finger in the eye or a two -handed stranglehold can actually do to someone, and would be inclined to use these extremely dangerous moves without hesitation.

4.) An impressionable child who regularly plays ultra-violent videogames, watches R-rated "slasher" movies, or listens to "gangsta rap" lyrics, is far more likely to seriously hurt other children, as they have received detailed "instructions" which they are highly motivated to carry out.

5.) A child who has been subjected to repeated sexual abuse will often attempt to act out what he was "taught" with other children — even if he is pre-pubescent. There have been numerous documented cases of seriously damaged victims of abuse forcibly raping other children, forcefully inserting foreign objects into the vagina or rectum (which can easily result in hemorrhaging or puncture of the bowel), or actually severing another child’s penis.

Now that we’ve established that a potential threat exists, these dangers should each be discussed with your child to some degree (depending upon age and emotional maturity — use your best judgement).

With the average bully, the worst your child should reasonably expect is a beating. This means that you don’t need to teach him a bunch of "deadly strikes" and send him off to school packing your old tactical folder. Indeed, he should not be permitted to bring a knife (or other weapon) to school under any circumstances, as he would be virtually guaranteed to be expelled (as well as arrested) for doing so! You should stick to simple strikes, and focus primarily upon psychological preparation.

Your child should be taught, in no uncertain terms, that no-one else has the right to hit, kick, shove, slap, pinch, threaten, or spit upon him. This does not mean that he should belt people who accidentally bump into him, or are just playing around. However, if a bully (or group of bullies) wants to turn your kid into a punching bag, he should beat on them as hard as he can until either the aggressor(s) retreats or the fight is broken up. Physical abuse — even if it is not severe enough to be classified as an "assault"— should not be tolerated under any circumstances.

Your child should also be taught that it is unacceptable to fight over mere trifles — like a simple push or a mere insult. Violence is only acceptable if your child is either attacked or being subject to physical humiliation. At the younger ages, violence must always be responded to with violence — remember, bullies tend to be unreasonable and unsympathetic — they will reply to diplomacy with a punch in the nose.

In all probability, the worst a bully will do to your child is give him a bloody nose and a few bruises — these things will soon heal, whereas loss of face may not. Indeed, if your child fails to fight back to the best of his ability (or even worse — runs away to "tell a teacher"), his reputation will become so badly tarnished that, instead of only 2 or 3 bullies waiting to pick on him, he could be faced with dozens! Teach your child that, even though he might lose to a bigger opponent, that is no reason to avoid fighting! It has been proven, time and time again, that avoidance will only make the situation worse.

Furthermore, your child needs to be assured that (provided he was "in the right") his parents will fully support him. Many children allow themselves to be beaten on a daily basis simply to avoid getting in trouble at home after the principal calls. If you are called in for a conference to "discuss your child’s misbehavior," you need to back your kid up. Tell the administrator that you told your child to defend himself if attacked, and that the reason your child refused to rat out the bully was because you told him not to. Remember, provided the other student was not seriously hurt (permanent damage), the worst they can do is suspend him for a few days — and if you make a big fuss about the school’s failing to take responsibility for your child’s safety, they may not even do that!

Of course, I hope that you’ve already taught your child that bullying is unacceptable behavior to engage in himself, as those weaker than himself should be pitied and protected, rather than victimized (although it would probably be a bad idea for your child to take it upon himself to go around breaking up fights wherever he sees them).

Now that the basic psychological groundwork has been established, it is time to focus on technique. As you are probably well aware, most "karate schools" which accept children will do little more than give your child a false sense of confidence (they spend far too much time on useless crap like vocabulary, bowing, and kata), so you’ll need to teach these moves yourself. The following techniques are relatively basic, due to the fact that most children have only a limited attention span.

First and foremost, your child should be taught never to punch another person in the face with his knuckles. Fingerbones are relatively fragile, and the human head is quite solid. Even professional boxers often break bones in their hands — and they know how to throw a proper punch! Furthermore, unless one has received qualified instruction and spent weeks practicing on the heavy bag, it is far too easy to sprain one’s wrist when impacting with a solid punch.

The "hammerfist" should be your child’s primary tool, as it is easy to use, generates a great deal of force, and has a very low risk of injuring one’s hand. The hammerfist strike is delivered by using the bottom (pinky side) of one’s vertical closed fist to hit with — sort of like pounding on a table. The hammerfist is best used versus the face — particularly the nose — although it can be used to strike anywhere upon the body. This is a "natural" response, and requires only minimal training to be effective.

The "uppercut" is used for close range punches to the belly (solar plexus). It is simply an inverted horizontal fist used to deliver an upward rising strike. The belly is the best target for this strike, as the chin is dangerously close to the throat and contact with the jawbone could easily result in a fractured finger.

The "elbow strike" is best used for extremely close range attacks from the side or rear. Anywhere on the trunk can effectively be attacked.

First and foremost, your child should be told, in no uncertain terms, that the fancy high kicks he sees on television will not work in a real fight! High kicks are easily caught and trapped, after which the kicker is usually punched in the balls and dumped on the ground. Any kick delivered at waist level or above can be caught — even by a relatively unskilled opponent. Furthermore, he should be aware that kicking does not constitute "dirty fighting"— after all, wouldn’t others kick him?

The "toe kick" is meant to be delivered only with a properly shod foot — if you are wearing sandals, you will probably break your toe. This is an instinctive move, in which the toe of one’s shoe is brought sharply into contact with an opponent’s body. The shins are the best possible target for this kick.

The "knee strike" is an extremely close range technique best used to attack an opponent’s groin with a quick rising blow.

If your child is being grabbed from behind, he can break free by use of several different techniques:

1.) He could rapidly launch a series of reverse elbow strikes (alternating between arms) into his assailant’s midsection.

2.) He could put all his strength and body weight into a stomp to the top of one of his assailant’s feet (unless he’s wearing stacked heel boots, he probably won’t break it).

3.) He could repeatedly slam the back of his head into his assailant’s face.

4.) He could spring backwards — either knocking his assailant off his feet (and landing atop him), or slamming him into a wall.

If your child is being grabbed by the throat, he could grab his assailant’s pinky finger with one hand (bending it backwards until either he releases his grip or it snaps — whichever comes first, while he hammerfists the nose repeatedly, or attempts to yank out his assailant’s hair by the roots (remember, chokes can be extremely dangerous).

If the bully is stupid enough to slap his hand over your child’s mouth in an attempt to silence him, your child should sink his teeth in as hard as he can.

If the bully has knocked your child to the ground, and is sitting astride his chest while he whales into his face with either fist, your child could attempt one of the following techniques:

1.) He could try kicking him in the back of the head.

2.) He could try punching into the assailant’s kidneys, groin, and midsection.

3.) He could latch onto one of his assailant’s forearms with both hands — then sink his teeth in.

The first rule of defense is: "Don’t get hit!" Incoming blows are best avoided by the following methods:

1.) Retreat (not "running away," but either taking a quick step back or rapidly "backpedaling").

2.) Avoidance (bobbing, weaving, and sidestepping).

3.) Deflection ("slap" and "whip" blocks).

4.) Rigid blocks (slow, but effective versus powerful strikes that cannot be otherwise avoided).

5.) Shedding (if you cannot avoid an incoming strike, you should go with the force of the blow, or "roll with the punches," in order to minimize damage sustained).

Your child should be familiar with the five basic attacks used by an untrained fighter (right roundhouse punch to head, right hand slap to face, right uppercut to belly, right knee or foot to groin, and the headlock), expect to encounter them as an opponent’s first move, and know how to counter them.

Even if the assailant is elementary school age, if he whips out a boxcutter or is with several of his friends, your child could easily be broken, maimed, or killed. Against such overwhelming odds (especially if they are significantly bigger), no-one but a complete idiot could blame your child for running away (and you should strongly recommend that he do so).

If, however, retreat is not an option, he may have to yell for help. This is not sissy-like behavior if your child is being chased by a kid with an icepick.

In the event that your child is unable to either retreat or summon assistance, he will need to arm himself. An improvised weapon could be utilized (yardstick, pencil, bookbag, lunch tray, fork, rocks, spare change, etc.), or he could simply take off his belt.

Wrapped twice around one’s hand, a thin web or dress belt can be whipped incredibly fast, and has far greater range than an attacker’s knife. It can also be used to engage multiple opponents. Unless it is a thick leather belt with a heavy pewter buckle, it is unlikely to inflict serious injury (although it could possibly take out an eye). A thin belt is not a prohibited item, it is capable of inflicting a series of stinging welts, and hearing it zip through the air quicker than the eye can follow would be sure to dissuade all but the stoutest of adversaries. You should encourage your child to practice drawing and swinging his belt, but be sure he realizes that it should never be drawn as a weapon unless one of the following applies:

1.) The assailant is brandishing a weapon (of any sort).

2.) There is more than one assailant.

3.) The assailant is significantly larger (or older) than your child.

Be prepared to justify your child’s use of his belt to school administrators, but be aware that if he had drawn it against a single assailant of his own size, he was wrong to do so, and deserves to be punished.

One more topic needs to be briefly addressed, and that is school shootings. Your child needs to know that if a fellow classmate has brought a gun to school, your child is morally obligated to tell a teacher immediately!

In the event that someone is actually shooting up the school, your child should know to run away from the sound of gunfire, exit the school, and just keep running.

If the shooter is in close proximity to your child, your child should know to stay low to the ground (below waist height) and make use of cover and concealment until he can get out of the line of fire.

If your child is directly confronted with someone pointing a gun at him, he should be polite, apologetic, and respectfully request that he please not be shot (although he should never grovel or beg).

If he is going to be shot anyway, he might be able to grab the gun by the barrel, turn it away from himself, and stab a pencil into the gunman’s throat or eye. He should be clearly instructed never to attempt to disarm a gunman unless he is positive that he is about to be shot, because very few people (even highly trained martial artists) can take a gun away from an assailant (outside of the training hall) without getting shot at least once.

If your child is willing to spend many hours practicing martial art techniques, a few useful moves would include (but not necessarily be limited to):

1.) Breakaways (from wrist holds).

2.) Counters to lapel grabs, chokeholds, headlocks, and bearhugs.

3.) Simple takedowns (trips and sweeps, rather than less reliable "throws").

4.) Open hand techniques (particularly the palm heel, bear swat, and claw hand).

If your child has the discipline to master these moves, he’ll be able to defeat nearly any schoolyard bully (as well as more serious attackers in later life).