In Defense of the Maligned Auto-Rifle

 

 

INTRODUCTION:

 

Assault weapon. Black rifle. Military-style semi-automatic. The auto-rifle is called these names by proponents and detractors alike. Many people think civilian ownership of autoloading rifles should be prohibited, and indeed, in several jurisdictions this has come to pass. The federal government has not yet barred civilian ownership, but newly manufactured or imported rifles must meet certain criteria intended to lessen their deadly potential by removing such accessories as: large capacity magazines, flash suppressors, bayonet lugs, folding or collapsible stocks, and pistol grips.

 

People who own, or wish to own, such weapons are demonized in the media with such propagandist buzzwords as: "paramilitary," "militant," "paranoid," or "whacko." The weapons are described as "high-capacity," "rapid-firing," "military" rifles designed specifically "for killing people." The questions remaining are: what exactly is an auto-rifle, and how can civilians justify owning one?

 

 

THE SEMI-AUTOMATIC:

 

Rifles have a wide variety of design. The "action" of a rifle describes how it is designed to chamber fresh cartridges and expel spent ones. Break actions typically are single shot affairs, unless they have more than one barrel — they are designed so the barrel can be tipped forward on a hinge so a round can be manually deposited into the chamber. Bolt action rifles can be single-shots, but are more often repeaters, extracting and reloading rounds into the chamber by grasping the movable handle affixed to the bolt and moving it back and forth along a groove in a simple 4-step procedure. Lever action rifles are exclusively repeaters, extracting and reloading rounds by moving a ringed lever behind the trigger sharply down, then up. Pump action rifles are also repeaters, operating by sliding a movable forearm sharply back, then forward. The autoloading action relies on either recoil or expelled gasses to operate the bolt automatically.

 

Autoloaders fall into two distinct categories: those with detachable magazines, and those without. A detachable magazine enables one to reload a fresh 5, 10, 15, 20, or 30 round "clip" almost instantly (high-capacity "banana clips" can hold 40, 50, or 55 rounds, and drums can hold 75, 100, or even more. A few autoloaders, which have either been copied after crew-served machineguns {like the M-2 or M-60}or specially modified, are even "belt fed").  The SKS, along with many bolt action sporting rifles, uses an internal magazine with limited capacity (although it can be modified to accept either an extended or detachable magazine). Internal magazines are usually reloaded one round at a time, but some can be rapidly reloaded with the aid of a "stripper clip," which holds 10 rounds by their base, allowing them to slip from the metal strip into the magazine all at once.  The venerable M-1 Garand had a poorly designed internal box magazine which relied upon an integral 8-round stripper clip, which could not be topped off and proved quite noisy when the final shot was fired and it was ejected from the weapon.  Autoloaders with detachable magazines are mostly of military design, but include several popular .22 rifles as well. They have been issued to soldiers since WWII, and some of these antique weapons have considerable value to collectors.

 

 

SUITABLE FOR CIVILIAN USE?:

 

Autoloading rifles have several valuable uses that make them legitimate for civilian ownership:

 

First, being autoloading, they are suitable for use by disabled sportsmen who otherwise would have difficulty target shooting or hunting.

 

Second, they are useful to the rancher or animal control officer who needs to engage potentially dangerous animals or packs of feral dogs. If you need to shoot a charging bear or wildcat (and such attacks are occurring with increasing frequency), you want to be able to fire a second and third shot without hesitation. Feral dogs will encircle their prey, lunging from several directions at once, and you need the ability to engage multiple targets. Wild dog packs are formed from abandoned and runaway dogs strong enough to survive the wilds. They often invade populated areas looking for garbage, livestock, or housepets to eat, and often are infected with rabies or other diseases.

 

Third, they are ideal for protection in rural areas. If you have a home in a secluded area, or if you enjoy camping as a hobby, an autoloading rifle is a great comfort when you know that no immediate help from law enforcement will be forthcoming (even if they receive your call, the nearest patrol vehicle could be over twenty minutes away).

 

But isn’t simply a handgun or shotgun sufficient for home protection? Consider this — outlaw motorcycle gangs (some of whom are not very well behaved) occasionally invade public campgrounds and run amok — this might entail naked bikers chasing people around with machetes after washing down some acid with a case of beer (but, of course, they might not intend to actually hurt anybody — although it would be disconcerting nonetheless). Gangs of drug addicts sometimes go for drives out into the country (whilst taking drugs), where they might impulsively decide to kick in the door of a nice looking house with no close neighbors. And what about a single intruder (burglar, stalker, or psycho) who is armed with a 9 mm pistol (some of which hold over 15 rounds in a single clip)? Revolvers usually hold 6 shots, many pistols hold only 8, and few shotguns hold more than 5 — your weapon may be far more powerful than his, but 15 shots (without needing to reload) gives him plenty of opportunity to hurt you. Against a serious threat, you want the ability to be able to fire of a series of 5-round bursts by simply vibrating your trigger finger.

 

A handgun is good to keep in your pocket or glovebox, and a quality shotgun is nice to have alongside your bed to chase off burglars with, but when the shit hits the fan, and you are confronted with multiple desperate criminals (who’d gladly slaughter your family just for the fun of it), you want the power, range, and capacity of an autoloading rifle.

 

 

ACCURACY:

 

A new or well-maintained auto-rifle, having a barrel length of at least 16" and sometimes as long as 30" (average length being between 22" and 24"), is far more accurate than a pistol, shotgun, or submachinegun. A skilled rifleman can easily hit targets within 50 feet from the hip, targets within 300 feet using the standard iron sights, and targets within 1,000 feet with a compact scope affixed — these ranges are easily doubled in the hands of an expert. Once proficiency is attained, the rifleman can hit any target he sees within the range of his weapon. On the battlefield, these ranges can only be exceeded with highly modified sniper rifles, having high-powered scopes and free floating barrels.

 

 

WHAT ABOUT MACHINEGUNS?;

 

Semi-automatic rifles can be legally owned in most jurisdictions. Fully automatic rifles, or submachineguns, are strictly regulated by the federal government, and a Class III FFL and $200 tax stamp must be procured prior to legal ownership. Fully automatic fire is unnecessary in most situations, and is often counterproductive. A weapon with a cyclic rate of 800 rounds per minute can empty a 30 round magazine in about 2 seconds. If you do not exercise proper fire discipline, you will soon find yourself out of ammunition, regardless of how many extra magazines you’re carrying.

 

One should never be tempted by the availability of "full-auto conversion kits" or Sten gun "parts sets" once easily procured via mail-order. Not only is the conversion (or manufacture) process long, difficult, and easy to screw up, but the finished product is highly illegal (which means that it should never actually be fired in fully automatic mode), and would probably get one a minimum of three years behind bars — even if the prosecution acknowledged that there was no criminal intent.

 

Cheap little gee-gaws, like cranks and "activators" that bolt to one’s triggerguard to "simulate full-auto fire" usually are either awkward to use or do not work as advertized. Anyone with the manual dexterity needed to type a letter or play a videogame can "simulate full-auto fire" simply by rapid digital manipulation of the trigger.

 

 

TYPES OF AUTO-RIFLE (BY CALIBER):

 

The three most popular calibers that auto-rifles are chambered for are .223 Remington (5.56 X 45 mm NATO), 7.62 X 39 mm Soviet, and .308 Winchester (7.62 X 51 mm NATO). Less commonly found are chamberings in .30 Carbine and 9 mm Parabellum. Rarely seen are the semi-automatic versions of the newer AK-74, which fires a round similar to the 5.56 mm (5.45 X 39 mm Soviet) and will not be discussed here.

 

Rifles chambered for either .223 Remington or 7.62 X 39 Soviet are commonly referred to as "assault rifles." They are designed to rapidfire lightly recoiling ammunition at targets from close to moderate range. They are the standard small arm issued to the majority of infantrymen.

 

The .223 round is used in the Mini-14, Galil, HK-93, and countless variations of the AR-15 (Bushmaster, AR-18, Daewoo, etc.). It is a small bottlenecked cartridge that puts a substantial powderload behind a streamlined .22 caliber projectile. It is an extremely accurate round, and is used both for competitive shooting as well as varmint hunting. It has very light recoil. It is considered deadlier than the 7.62 X 39 at medium to long range, due to the tiny high-speed projectile’s tendency to change course and tumble within a human body after contacting bone. At close range, the high-velocity projectile tends to disintegrate upon impact, resulting in massive injuries (the green-tipped SS-109 penetrator core projectiles, however, maintain their integrity, resulting in minimal stopping power). It was originally designed to wound rather than kill, the idea being that a wounded soldier would be detrimental to enemy morale and would require two other soldiers to evacuate him to the rear, but it was discovered that the minuscule projectile could kill quite effectively. It is most commonly found in full metal jacket (ball) configuration, but several other variants are commonly available. With "ballistic-tipped" expanding projectiles, the .223 can easily kill with a single well-placed shot, and numerous rounds can be carried due to their light weight.

 

The 7.62 X 39 mm Soviet is used in both the SKS and the AK-47, as well as the Ruger Mini-30. It is a fat, ugly bullet, sometimes referred to as the 7.62 short. It is commonly found with either hollowpoint or softpoint projectiles, showing blatant disregard for the Geneva Convention. It has more recoil than the .223, and considerable knockdown power at close range, but has about the same impact as a handgun round at longer ranges due to decreasing velocity. Its projectiles have less speed and penetration, but are also less likely to be deflected by passing through brush. Currently, Surplus Soviet military ammunition is far less expensive than any commercially available sporting loads.

 

Both of the aforementioned calibers are capable of penetrating light cover, such as auto bodies, household appliances, and small trees. They will also defeat soft body armor (as will any hunting rifle).

 

Weapons chambered for the .308 Winchester round (7.62 X 51 NATO) are commonly referred to as "battle rifles." They are designed to fire a powerful round, capable of penetrating light cover, at extended ranges. They have heavy recoil which is partially absorbed by the autoloading action, allowing for sustained slow fire. Full automatic fire is possible for short bursts. The .308 is a larger cartridge, similar in many ways to the .30-06, but with a "flatter trajectory" (not literally, but when plotting decreased velocity at extended ranges). This round is used in the M-14, FAL, AR-10 and HK-91, as well as many sniper rifles. The scope mounted M-14 is often used in competitive shooting. It is a powerful round, with heavy recoil and proven one-shot stopping power. Its rounds will easily punch through windshield glass, cinderblock walls, large trees, and light armor plate. Only a triple thickness of sandbags or inch thick steel plate can be relied upon for cover. Its heavy powderload also gives it an extended accurate range. It is the preferred cartridge for use in an autoloading rifle.

 

The .30 Carbine round is almost exclusively chambered for the venerable M1 Carbine, for which it was designed. It has light recoil, and is effective from close to medium range. The M1 Carbine was mass produced in several versions, by multiple companies, for use in WWII and Korea. A civilian version was also manufactured, as well as a legal short-barreled version marketed as the "Enforcer pistol." Several obscure handguns also chamber this round. The M1 Carbine was originally intended for issue to non-combatants, such as mechanics and clerks, in the event that the rear echelons were overrun. Due to its light weight, rapidfire capability, and the option of a 30 round magazine, it soon found favor with frontline combat troops. It quickly fell out of favor during the Korean War, where it proved utterly unreliable in arctic climes . The .30 Carbine round has piss poor performance when loaded with ball ammunition, which has little better stopping power than the diminutive 9 mm. Softnose and hollowpoint ammunition are available at double or triple the price of ball, but significantly increase lethality (approximately equivalent to that of the .357 magnum, similarly loaded) .

 

Weapons chambered for 9 mm Parabellum tend to be either pistols or submachineguns, though a few carbines exist — mostly semi-automatic versions of military submachineguns with 16" barrels. The Uzi and MP-5 SMGs are available on the civilian market as the Uzi carbine and HK-94, and the Colt SMG favored by SWAT teams can also be had in a long-barreled semi-auto version. The MAC-10 and MAC-11 SMGs are available either as semi-auto "pistols" or ridiculous looking "carbines." The Nighthawk and Hi-Point carbines were designed exclusively as semi-automatics that resemble military weapons. The Marlin Camp 9, having a full wooden stock and resembling a .22 plinker, is the only 9 mm carbine I know of that was designed for purposes other than combat. The Ruger PC9, has a synthetic stock, but appears similar to the Marlin; it was designed for police use, and is also available in .40 S&W as the PC4. 9mm carbines are useless for hunting game larger than rabbits, have low stopping power (little better than a .38), mediocre accuracy, and an appearance frightening to the typical civilian. They are designed exclusively for killing people at close range, and tend to be cheaply mass-produced from stamped sheet metal. The Marlin Camp 9 and Ruger PC9, being of good quality, are more accurate than pistols of the same caliber, while the cheaper (though often more expensive) Uzi , Hi-Point, and MACs are not.

 

In my opinion, the 9 mm cartridge is best chambered for the pistols and SMGs for which it was intended. It is a high velocity round which can tear through motel rooms and trailer parks, but it can be stopped by windshield glass, soft body armor, or a thick hardwood door. If a compact and light recoiling autoloading rifle is desired, the .223 would prove a far superior chambering.

 

 

AMMUNITION:

 

.223 Remington (5.56 X 45 mm), .308 Winchester (7.62 X 51 mm), and 9 mm Parabellum are NATO military cartridges, and the Geneva Convention specifies that only non-expanding projectiles must be fired from small arms (to contribute to "kinder and gentler" battlefields).  Surplus military ammunition, almost exclusively full metal jacket ball, is often available at less than half the price of hollowpoints (and other commercial ammunition). When you consider that quality defensive ammunition often costs double or triple the price of standard hollowpoints, is it any wonder that the vast majority of military-style weapons are loaded with substandard ammunition?

 

There are documented cases of aggressors absorbing over a dozen rounds of 9 mm or .30 carbine ball ammunition (as well as 5.56 mm "green-tip" ammo — 5.56 mm ball is usually effective) with no immediate effect, letting them continue with their attack for several minutes before bleeding out. Against a highly motivated aggressor — or one rendered insensible to pain due to drugs or psychosis — nothing short of a round fired directly into the brain or heart is guaranteed to immediately stop his charge. The .308 and 30.06 are appreciably more damaging.

 

Lethality can be significantly increased with expanding hollowpoint, softnose, or ballistic-tip ammunition, and is veritably assured with prefragmented ammunition (such as the Glaser and Bee Safe rounds). Ball is good for practice, is adequate for pest control, and is cheap enough to stockpile, but for actual combat usage, nothing beats a 30 round clip full of quality defensive ammunition. If your weapon of choice is not equipped with a laser designator (which can be smaller than a lipstick tube and costs under $100), you can load a tracer projectile every third round for increased accuracy when firing at multiple targets.

 

 

MAINTENANCE:

 

Being automatic, these weapons need to be kept clean and lubricated to assure reliable functioning. If they are dirty, overlubricated, improper ammunition is used, or the magazine is damaged or worn out, they may jam. If a weapon jams, usually it is due to a failure to feed a fresh round squarely in the chamber or failure of an extracted round to completely clear the ejection port. Jams can often be cleared simply by charging the bolt, but this doesn’t always work and jam clearing drill should be a regular part of practice sessions. Weapons like the AK-47 and the Uzi carbine seldom need cleaning due to their simple design, but even reliable guns such as these have been known to jam. The AR-15 and M-16 are notorious for needing to be kept spotlessly clean to assure proper functioning. It takes over an hour to strip down and properly clean one of these rifles, using numerous cotton swabs to wipe gunk from various nooks and crannies. Other rifles break down with more difficulty. The M1 Carbine, for example, can only be fully broken down by an armorer possessing specific tools for doing so. The M1 Carbine is fairly reliable (even when uncleaned) as long as it is not used in an arctic climate. Whatever weapon you choose, you should get a manual and cleaning kit with it, as well as: an extra firing pin, extractor, recoil spring, several magazines, and a few small pins and springs to replace those which might get lost or break at a future time. If a single small part breaks, your weapon will be useless without a replacement on hand.

 

 

TOO DANGEROUS?

 

Some vociferous proponents of gun control (or confiscation) think that assault rifles are "too dangerous" to remain in public hands. There are literally millions of such weapons owned by law-abiding civilians, and they have not proven to be a significant problem to date.

 

If a civilian needs a firearm for self-defense, he invariably grabs a handgun or shotgun. The assault rifle is usually locked in a gun cabinet and kept only for display, occasional target shooting, and piece of mind. The majority of the people who tend to have full magazines available for such weapons tend to be ranchers, farmers, and the occasional misguided (yet usually harmless and law-abiding) survivalist.

 

Every mass shooting in which an assault weapon was used (of which there are few), was perpetrated by deranged individuals who could not lawfully obtain any gun due to mental illness and criminal record. Criminals do not favor assault weapons because they are not easily concealed or hidden.

 

The vast majority of these weapons are in the hands of law-abiding citizens who have no intention of ever misusing them. But the gun control wussies are afraid. They say "Oh, a gang or militia armed with such weapons could overpower the police!" This is bullshit. In the event of such an occurrence, the police can radio for assistance, which will soon arrive in vast numbers. The police have access to assault weapons as well, and theirs fire on full automatic; they also have sniper rifles capable of shooting a dime at 1,000 feet, nightvision scopes, and grenade launchers that can fire either peppergas or high explosive "barrier penetration" rounds. They can call upon unlimited reinforcements, have food and coffee brought to them, and be relieved by other officers when they need sleep. The average armed gang members cannot compete with such adversity, and would likely surrender after a short standoff.

 

In the event that domestic terrorists were occupying a fortified compound, the assistance of the military could be brought into play. Tanks, helicopters, and armored personnel carriers would be provided, as well as advisors and support personnel. Various politically incorrect "non-lethal" weapons can also be utilized by police special weapons teams. These include sonic weapons (which can cause disorientation, nausea, and paralysis), and non-lethal war gases (such as nausea agents and mild nerve agents which have only temporary effects). Such weapons are in the arsenals of a few urban SWAT teams, but have never been implemented due to the potential media backlash.

 

As you can see, the mere assault rifle is no "magic wand" that bestows unlimited destructive power upon its wielder. If someone abuses such a weapon, even if they are in large groups, they will be swiftly and efficiently dealt with by the authorities. The assault rifle constitutes no threat to society.

 

 

AFTERWORD:

 

The autoloading rifle is the standard weapon for soldiers throughout the world. In skilled hands, a single soldier armed with an auto-rifle can put out a volume of fire roughly equivalent to that of a small patrol armed with bolt actions (or an entire company of men armed with muzzleloaders). Four magazine pouches (holding 3 30-round clips apiece), in addition to the magazine loaded in the weapon, gives the soldier nearly 400 rounds of ammunition that is readily accessible and easily transported. It is necessary to acquire web gear and pouches to provide instant access to multiple magazines, as pants pockets and satchels just don’t do it (you’d be juggling, dropping, and losing clips nearly every time you moved).

 

In a rural or secluded area, the auto-rifle is your primary choice for protection, offering range, accuracy, power, high capacity, high rate of fire, and the capability of being reloaded instantly. It is, by far, the deadliest weapon available for sale to the general public — it is considered by most experts to be the most fearsomely effective personal weapon (barring shoulder launched tac-nukes) known to man! The politicians realize this, and it is likely that in the near future such weapons will be prohibited or tightly restricted. While I agree that they should not be possessed in assembled and loaded condition in urban or densely populated areas for reasons of public safety, I strongly feel that individuals living in a rural environment have both a right and a legitimate need for such a firearm. If you would like to own such a weapon, and are willing to learn how to use it safely and effectively, now is the time to purchase one. If you already own such a weapon, I strongly recommend procuring a large weatherproof box and dessicant, and looking for the best possible place to bury it, if need be.

 

The auto-rifle is a functional tool, a fine weapon, an awesome display piece, and a significant part of American history. It would be a shame for such a thing to be blotted out by force of law, possession being allowed only for government troops, wealthy cronies of prominent politicians, and a select few museums. Such a weapon in the hands of the people tends to assure some semblance of freedom, regardless of who seizes and abuses power. Guns assure freedom and security, which is a good thing. Criminalize guns, and you criminalize a substantial portion of the populace, making them subject to arrest, incarceration, and state imposed supervision. A government that fears guns fears its citizens, which means that it no longer represents our interests. If the people are forcibly disarmed, they are rendered powerless against both criminals and the threat of fascism. If you are powerless, you are considered weak and contemptible by those who would threaten you. Ask yourself, is that a position you ever want to find yourself in? The threat is remote, but possible, as history has proven time and time again. Empower yourself.

 

 

ADDENDUM:

 

1.) Automatic rifles generally tend to be single-action, and thus should never be stowed with a round in the chamber! This is incredibly stupid, as well as unsafe. If your rifle must be kept loaded, do not chamber a round until you actually are preparing to fire. Don’t be a dumbass!

2.) High capacity magazines should never be loaded to full capacity unless absolutely necessary! This causes spring fatigue, which can result in jamming. I recommend loading only 27 or 28 rounds into a 30 round mag (incidentally, that is the reason why many subgun mags hold 32 rounds). Every few weeks, rotate your mags (empty out your full ones and fill up your spares) to prolong spring resiliency. Only a dumbass would fill up all his mags to capacity and toss ‘em in storage!

3.) If the shit has hit the fan, the 3rd and 5th rounds that you load into your 30 rd mags should be tracers. It’s easy to lose count of rounds during a firefight, and the tracers will let you know when you’re almost (but not quite) empty. It is generally advisable to change mags before actually running dry (duh).

4.) Bayonets are crap — they’re only good for whittling tent stakes, digging out firing positions, and opening cans, so don’t waste your money. Only freaks and Nazis would actually consider "fixing bayonets" (primarily to threaten unarmed non-combatants or to impress their immature cronies). Similarly, kits which convert your rifle to fire belts of ammunition, or an under-barrel mounted 37 mm "flare projector" (or legal-length pump shotgun) are little more than silly novelty items which would be disdained by those who know better.

5.) I’d advise against optics unless you intend to purchase a top quality combat scope (wide objective, low magnification, illuminated reticle). Cheap scopes are for suckers — you’d be much better off just using your iron sights. If you insist upon getting a high-powered scope, expect to spend a great deal of money — then you’ll need to get a sun-shade and bipod. Be advised, your rifle may no longer be able to accept high capacity mags if you’re firing with a fixed bipod from the prone position!

 

A FEW WORDS ABOUT SOME POPULAR AUTO-RIFLES:

 

AR-15 "The Good Guy Gun" * * *

Expensive and a bitch to clean! If the feed ramp and chamber is not kept spotlessly clean, you will experience failures to feed. If it has been over-oiled, you will experience failures to feed. If the gas tube fouls, it is a bitch to remove and replace. Cheap ammo will foul this weapon quickly, and good ammo can cost nearly a buck a round! Recommended for veterans and enthusiasts only!

 

AK-47 "The Bad Guy Gun" * *

Cheap, nasty, and ultra-reliable — provided you insert the magazine just so. You see, there’s a special way that you need to tilt the clip before inserting it into the magazine well and snapping it into place. If the magazine is not inserted correctly, it may appear to be in place, but the weapon will jam when you attempt to chamber a round. Not good for quick reloads. Also, if you don’t spin the key on those Chinese drums enough times to build up the proper amount of spring tension, that’ll result in a jam as well.

 

M-14 "The Marine Corps Gun" * * * * *

Very good rifle. Substantial, powerful, reliable, and extremely accurate. Highly recommended (although the Corps has phased this weapon out, replacing it with the Mattel-16).

 

FAL "That Foreign Gun" * *

Big gun that fires big bullets. Popular "build your own" rifle. Not as reliable or as accurate as the M-14, but it gets the job done.

 

HK-91 "German Powerhouse" * * *

Good weapon, few complaints. Falls midway between the FAL and the M-14. However, we wouldn’t recommend the lighter caliber HK rifles.

 

Mini-14 "The Survivalist Gun" * * * *

More reliable than the AR-15. Popular with freaks, cowboys, and rural law enforcement. If you’ve got one of these, please don’t deface it with a mail-order Zytel stock!

 

M1 Carbine "The Subversive’s Gun" * * *

Very lightweight weapon — weighs even less than the aluminum and fiberglass AR-15. These vary greatly in reliability and accuracy, dependant upon condition and manufacturer. Some of these are excellent weapons, while others are complete garbage — most fall somewhere in the middle. Once favored by 60's era street gangs and pseudo-revolutionaries.

 

SKS "The Welfare Recipient’s Gun" *

Most of these guns are crap — especially the ones that have been modified to accept detachable magazines. If you can find a brand new one with a chrome-lined bore and a fixed magazine, it is probably a sound investment (as long as you’re spending less than $100). From what I’ve heard, these rifles are nearly indestructible.

 

Uzi "The Gangster Gun" *

The price on these guns has fucking skyrocketed over the past decade. Admittedly, they do look pretty cool (at least with the short, non-functional "display" barrel installed), but they weigh too much and have plastic hardware (grips and forearm) which can break and are expensive to replace. Although touted as "extremely reliable," they have been known to jam. They also tend to fire unacceptably large groupings (you’ll need to paint a bullseye on a barn door).

 

Thompson "The Olde Tyme Gangster Gun" * * *

These guns have always been expensive, primarily due to the fact that the internal parts are hand fashioned rather than mass-produced. Reliable, accurate, and very fucking cool. Fires the .45 ACP cartridge, which knowledgeable folks prefer over the prissy 9 millie.

 

Galil "The Best Damn Gun in the World" * * * * *

Ultra-reliable, with light recoil and big fucking clips. Need we say more?